Dirk L'Orange is Writing...

As some of you know, I am a member of the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation and as such I get to vote for the Razzies, the annual award for the worst movies of the year. The awards presentation takes place a day before the Oscars in Los Angeles.

I just sent in my ballot, so I thought I would share with you, who I voted for. Below is the list with my vote in bold, and below each award, my reasoning behind that vote.

WORST SCREEN COUPLE

• Time Allen & Martin Short / SANTA CLAUS 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE
• Nicolas Cage & His Bear Suit / WICKER MAN
• Hilary & Haylie Duff / MATERIAL GIRLS
• Sharon Stone's Lop-Sided Breasts / BASIC INSTINCT 2
• Shawn Wayans & EITHER Kerry Washington OR Marlon Wayans / LITTLE MAN

Since I haven't seen any of these movies, I figured the other "couples" didn't have far to fall for making such a bad movie. The only other actor has any skins on the wall is Nick Cage, and I actually know someone that went to see the movie he was in... I think "Basic Instinct 2" was actually straight to the $1.50 theaters. I have no specific knowledge of whether Sharon Stone's breasts are lop-sided, but if I take the Foundation at it's word, that HAS TO BE the worst couple.

WORST EXCUSE FOR FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT

• DECK THE HALLS
• GARFIELD: A TAIL OF 2 KITTIES
• RV
• SANTA CLAUS 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE
• THE SHAGGY DOG

Eh, take your pick of Tim Allen movies.

WORST SCREENPLAY

• BASIC INSTINCT 2
• BLOODRAYNE
• LADY IN THE WATER
• LITTLE MAN
• WICKER MAN

I actually saw BLOODRAYNE... it is simply the WORST fantasy/adventure movies I've EVER seen. Worse than the Conan Series and Red Sonya... this was HORRIBLE!

WORST DIRECTOR

• Uwe Boll / BLOODRAYNE
• Michael Caton-Jones / BASICALLY, IT STINKS, TOO
• Ron Howard / THE DA VINCI CODE
• M. Night Shama-lama-ding-dong / LADY IN THE WATER
• Keenan Ivory Wayans / LITTLE MAN

Same reasoning here. Although I will say, Ron Howard was in a no win situation with his movie, there was basically no way to make that book into a movie without either ruining the story or making the movie wordy and long. M. Night Shyamalan, did a good job directing LADY IN THE WATER, his actors gave excellent performances, especially Paul Giamatti.

WORST PREQUEL or SEQUEL

• BASIC INSTINCT 2
• BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE 2
• GARFIELD 2: A TAIL OF TWO KITTIES
• SANTA CLAUS 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE
• TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING (aka LEATHERFACE: THE FORMATIVE YEARS)

Again, my vote here was based on the fact that considering the competition was was anyone expecting from any of those other movies?

WORST REMAKE or RIPOFF

• LITTLE MAN (Ripoff of the 1954 Bugs Bunny cartoon "Baby Buggy Bunny")
• PINK PANTHER
• POSEIDON
• THE SHAGGY DOG
• WICKER MAN

Here I went with the movie with the most potential to be actually a good movie. Steve Martin has some skins on the wall, he might actually be able to approach the genius of Peter Sellers. Alas, his performance was closer to that of CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN rather than THE JERK or THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS. He's fallen a long, long way.

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

• Danny DeVito / DECK THE WALLS
• Ben Kingsley / BLOODRAYNE
• Martin Short / SANTA CLAUS 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE
• M. Night Shyamalan / LADY IN THE WATER
• David Thewlis / BASIC INSTINCT 2

I couldn't vote for Ben Kingsley, he's a good actor. WHY DID HE DO THIS MOVIE? M. Night Shyamalan wasn't even the worst actor in his own movie. I've never heard of David Thewlis, but he sounds the worst.

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

• Kate Bosworth / SUPERMAN RETURNS
• Kristen Chenoweth / DECK THE WALLS, PINK PANTHER, and RV
• Carmen Electra / DATE MOVIE andSCARY MOVIE 4
• Jenny McCarthy / JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE
• Michelle Rodriguez / BLOODRAYNE

This was the easiest one to choose. BLOODRAYNE, as bad as the movie was as a whole, Michelle Rodriguez was, by far, the most difficult to watch in that movie. She has absolutely no range.

WORST ACTRESS

• Hilary & Haylie Duff / MATERIAL GIRLS
• Linsay Lohan / JUST MY LUCK
• Kristanna Loken / BLOOKRAYNE
• Jessica Simpson / EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
• Sharon Stone / BASIC INSTINCT 2

Once again, she's falling apart. Why not any of the others? Well, what would you expect from the others... they're in movies that fit right into their demographic.

WORST ACTOR

• Tim Allen / SANTA CLAUS 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE, THE SHAGGY DOG, and ZOOM
• Nicolas Cage / WICKER MAN
• Larry, the Cable Guy (Dan Whitney) / LARRY THE CABLE GUY: HEALTH INSPECTOR
• Rob Schneider / THE BENCHWARMERSand LITTLE MAN
• Marlon & Shawn Wayans / LITTLE MAN

I really wanted to vote for Larry, The Cable Guy. But, I didn't want to give that guy ANY press, in case he won the award. Also, Tim Allen had bad performances AND volume, with 3 bad movies.

WORST PICTURE

• BASIC INSTINCT 2
• BLOODRAYNE
• LADY IN THE WATER
• LITTLE MAN
• WICKER MAN

Finally, the big one, worst picture. Think about all the people that worked on BLOODRAYNE. The producers, director, writer, actors.... it's hard to get that many incompetent people together for a single movie. The writing was bad, the directing was bad, the acting was bad... it was the PERFECT STORM.

Enjoy.

Posted by PoS at 1:55 AM | Permalink

Synopsis: It is a documentary about the global warming crisis as told by Al Gore, through his lecture series on the topic, with scenes interspersed throughout that explain how and why he feels so passionately about this subject.

It is, without a doubt, a very compelling documentary. The scientific data that is presented is staggering. And it is presented by Al Gore in an easy to understand format. Perhaps, the most important part of the movie is when Gore states, "We already have the technology to solve the problem." Along with this very scary information is a message of hope and of change.

I came away from the movie with the feeling that the biggest obstacle we are facing in the global warming crisis is a lack of urgency and interest. Mrs. Pool of Sick stated, very succinctly afterward, "People suck." I have to say that I concur. Case in point, we have friends that are not going to see this movie because they're "just not interested." It is that lack of intellectual curiousity, indeed that apathy and fear of being taken out of their comfort zone and exercising their minds that keeps us moving down the path we're on. And it is that attitude among people in general -- probably the same attitude that makes American Idol is so popular -- that really gets under my skin.

Everyone should see this movie. And everyone should take some time and think about how they can change their own habits to help ease the problem. You can go to ClimateCrisis.net and just take a look to see if there are even little things that you can do in your daily lives that will lower your CO₂ footprint. Things like, changing your incandescent light bulbs to fluorescent light bulb or change your power provider all together to one that promotes renewable and/or clean energy sources. Gore points out, that a lot of little changes by everyone, can add up to big changes in the overall picture and if we act soon enough, we can start reversing the trend.

[UPDATE] 2006-06-14 10:40:00 - It seems I stepped on some toes with some of the comments I made regarding the movie. I mentioned some friends that weren't interested in seeing this movie... and it was juxtaposed with Mrs. PoS' comment that "people suck" along with an example of friends of ours who just didn't care to see the movie... This was poorly worded.... The Mrs. PoS comment was completely independent... my point in talking about our friends was in personalizing the apathy involved in this issue and in learning about the topic in general. That said, my apology goes to the offended parties (you know who you are).

Posted by PoS at 11:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

You be the judge

It's a bit loopy to search for cultural commentary in the MTV Movie Awards — the trophy looks like shellacked popcorn for a good reason — but there was an honest-to-goodness moment of gravity at the taping Saturday in Culver City when Jake Gyllenhaal accepted the award for best on-screen kiss for his lip-lock with Heath Ledger in "Brokeback Mountain."

Have a nice day.

Posted by PoS at 9:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)